“Forgiveness doesn’t excuse their behavior. Forgiveness prevents their behavior from destroying your heart.” -Unknown
We’ve all been there. We’ve all been hurt by someone that was close to us. The pain feels like a boulder just sitting on your stomach, and you aren’t sure it is ever going to go away. And the worst part? The person that hurt you didn’t take the time to apologize. I understand how much it hurts. But there are some things you can do that can lead you closer healing and to eventually be able to forgive them and move on with your life.
- Talk it out with someone. It helps so much. There is no way you are going to be able to get over something if you don’t talk it out to come to terms with the situation. Keeping everything bottled up inside is never the answer. Find your best friend, find a carton of ice cream, and spill everything. They just want to help you.
- Try to see it their way. I know this can be the hardest part. Maybe they didn’t realize you were hurt by their actions. Maybe they just don’t care enough to tell you sorry. Maybe they were hurt by something you did and responded to it. Maybe you will never know the reason. But at least you are trying to see it in a different perspective, and it’s the thought that counts right?
- Move on. A little harsh, I know. But you can’t expect to get over something when it’s all you ever think about. Find something to distract yourself, whether it’s going out with friends, being around your family, a new hobby, a funny movie, or even a good book that you can curl up in a blanket and read. Anything that doesn’t involve laying in your bed all day in the same clothes on that you wore yesterday.
- Wait. As much as we hate hearing it, it takes time. While it really hurts now, life will go on. The sun will go down, and then proceed to come back up whether you are ready or not. Days will turn into weeks, weeks to months, etc. But at some point you are going to lift your head and realize that it doesn’t hurt as bad as it used to. That smiling is becoming an easier thing to do. It’s hard to be patient and look past the hurt that is inside us right now, but better days are coming. I pinky promise.
- Realize that you are going to be okay. You are worthy of the whole world. Don’t let this one bad experience define you. There are so many other things to see and do. New people to meet. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to enjoy the life you have here on earth. You will make it through this as a stronger, more independent person that now has even more lessons and advice to share with others. Take this pain as a sign that you are indeed alive and living life.
Forgiveness can be hard. But sometimes you have to do it for you, not the other person. Being able to let go of the anger and resentment will, in turn, let you be happier. By forgiving, you are able to let go of this burden of bad feelings, and you will free yourself. I know you will eventually be able to forgive. And I know that when you do, it will feel like the best feeling in the world. But until that time comes, you have a ton of support to help you along the way. We will always be here for you.